Entries by HB

Parenting Tool SEVENTEEN-

You don’t have to look too far before you find an expert on parenting. Books are written by parents and doctors alike and you can see these so-called Parenting Experts all over the internet. There are websites you can read, podcasts to listen to, YouTube videos to watch and of course, TV talk shows with their hidden cameras confirming that we are not alone in our parenting struggles.

One of the TV shows that I used to watch is Dr. Phil. I liked Dr. Phil’s common sense approach even though he could be a little brutal with his honesty. I can’t imagine having the courage to go on his show and be subjected to his masked insults, but it’s definitely interesting to watch parents volunteer to expose their toddler tantrums and teenage fiasco’s for the world’s entertainment.

Parenting Tool SIXTEEN-

Do you enjoy feeling when someone is trying to change you? What if your spouse asked you to change something and you didn’t see the point? You think, “What’s wrong with me now? Am I not good enough for you?”

But here we are, as parents, constantly trying to change our children. Make them better, kinder, more responsible, etc. etc. etc. Do we stop and consider what it must feel like to never be meeting the standards set for us by someone else?

Parenting Tool FIFTEEN-

A great parent needs to know what they stand for. They need to know their own values, their beliefs, what kind of parent they want to be, and what kind of child they want to raise.

A drifting parent goes with the flow and merely reacts to life and to their children. They do not proactively determine what they want their family to look like. They don’t set the tone.

Parenting Tool FOURTEEN –

One problem many well-meaning parents fall into is having and using only one rigid parenting method. While that method may have worked for your child once upon a time, your ways of managing and disciplining them will eventually fail, making you and your child frustrated.

Your tried and true parenting methods are no longer effective. But with a few carefully thought out tweaks, you can upgrade your favourite parenting tool without a system overhaul

Parenting Tool THIRTEEN-

I looked at my son, anger forming inside of me. Like fingernails on a chalkboard, I heard him whine again, “I don’t wanna get the garbage. It’s too haaaaard.”

Wow, I thought. Life’s going to be hard for him if he thinks collecting the garbage from eight garbage cans in the house was tough. I’d tried ignoring him before but I just couldn’t stand it! It’s like the whining got worse and I ended up giving in and either yelling at him or, more often, just collecting the garbage myself.

Parenting Tool TWELVE-

These days, kids get rewarded for everything. Everyone gets a medal at soccer tournaments and elementary schools no longer fail kids. There are no clearly defined winners and losers anymore, and for the most part, that is a good thing. We don’t need a handful of kids idolized while the remaining 98% stand by feeling like they’re not good enough. And we don’t want kids getting left behind in school while their peers move forward into the next grade.

I get it. For the most part.

Parenting Tool ELEVEN-

I remember the time I asked my 13 year old what a suitable consequence would be after he had abused his computer privileges.

“Take it away for two weeks?”

I just about laughed. “Really, you think that would be fair?”

“No, I just thought that that’s what you’d probably say, or worse!”

He really thinks I’m a mean Mom.

Parenting Tool TEN-

I taught a babysitting course to grade six students this spring. There were three very important rules we went over at the beginning of each class which had to do with basic child safety. The fourth most important thing I taught the soon-to-be-babysitters is how to interact with the kids. I taught them how to use games to encourage kids to do what they need to do.

I use this technique myself with great success, especially with my younger children. Turn rules that need to be followed and tasks that need to get done into a game and everyone is happier!

Parenting Tool EIGHT-

Along with keeping your explanations short and sweet, it is also important to choose small words for small people i.e talk to their vocabulary.

Which of the following is easier to understand?

• Ornithological species of identical plumage tend to congregate in closer proximity
• Birds of a feather flock together

Parenting Tool SEVEN-

Just like the title, I promise to keep this one short and sweet.

How often have you given a long-winded explanation to your child only to find out they only heard the first five words you said?

I use this rule at home, your Childs attention span is seconds for each year of their life. A 2 years old therefore has an attention span of 2s, 3 year old 3s and so on.

Once you realize that you have such a limited window of attention it is no surprise when your children react the way they do to your requests right?