Parenting Tool TWENTY ONE-

Here is powerful tool that is thousands of years old. What I’m about to share with you is a parenting tool that is tried and tested. Your parents would approve and so would your grandparents. This tool is the simple act of getting your kids to spend more time outdoors.

It sounds so easy, but if you’re parenting children or teenagers today, you know the struggle is real. It’s hard to get kids outside! They’d rather be inside sitting passively, entertained by technology. And I can totally relate to wanting to keep kids safely indoors. You can’t be outside with them all the time. You have work to do and meals to make.

Parenting Tool TWENTY-

Here’s a quick test. Name as many emotions as you can in two minutes. Set a timer and start writing them down.

When you’re done, count up the number of emotions you could name. Now go over that list and identify how many emotions you feel on a regular basis. There are no right or wrong answers. This is just an exercise for you to see how limited – or not – your emotional vocabulary is.

Parenting Tool NINETEEN-

There is a myth that anger is something we inherit. Anger is not inherited. We know that the length of our fuse is not predetermined at birth. The way we express anger is not determined by our genes.

How we process anger and respond to the fiery emotion is something that we learn when are children. So we CAN blame our parents, but we can’t blame our genes. It’s not something we inherit, it’s something we learn.

Parenting Tool SEVENTEEN-

You don’t have to look too far before you find an expert on parenting. Books are written by parents and doctors alike and you can see these so-called Parenting Experts all over the internet. There are websites you can read, podcasts to listen to, YouTube videos to watch and of course, TV talk shows with their hidden cameras confirming that we are not alone in our parenting struggles.

One of the TV shows that I used to watch is Dr. Phil. I liked Dr. Phil’s common sense approach even though he could be a little brutal with his honesty. I can’t imagine having the courage to go on his show and be subjected to his masked insults, but it’s definitely interesting to watch parents volunteer to expose their toddler tantrums and teenage fiasco’s for the world’s entertainment.

Parenting Tool SIXTEEN-

Do you enjoy feeling when someone is trying to change you? What if your spouse asked you to change something and you didn’t see the point? You think, “What’s wrong with me now? Am I not good enough for you?”

But here we are, as parents, constantly trying to change our children. Make them better, kinder, more responsible, etc. etc. etc. Do we stop and consider what it must feel like to never be meeting the standards set for us by someone else?

Parenting Tool FIFTEEN-

A great parent needs to know what they stand for. They need to know their own values, their beliefs, what kind of parent they want to be, and what kind of child they want to raise.

A drifting parent goes with the flow and merely reacts to life and to their children. They do not proactively determine what they want their family to look like. They don’t set the tone.

Parenting Tool FOURTEEN –

One problem many well-meaning parents fall into is having and using only one rigid parenting method. While that method may have worked for your child once upon a time, your ways of managing and disciplining them will eventually fail, making you and your child frustrated.

Your tried and true parenting methods are no longer effective. But with a few carefully thought out tweaks, you can upgrade your favourite parenting tool without a system overhaul

Parenting Tool THIRTEEN-

I looked at my son, anger forming inside of me. Like fingernails on a chalkboard, I heard him whine again, “I don’t wanna get the garbage. It’s too haaaaard.”

Wow, I thought. Life’s going to be hard for him if he thinks collecting the garbage from eight garbage cans in the house was tough. I’d tried ignoring him before but I just couldn’t stand it! It’s like the whining got worse and I ended up giving in and either yelling at him or, more often, just collecting the garbage myself.

Parenting Tool TWELVE-

These days, kids get rewarded for everything. Everyone gets a medal at soccer tournaments and elementary schools no longer fail kids. There are no clearly defined winners and losers anymore, and for the most part, that is a good thing. We don’t need a handful of kids idolized while the remaining 98% stand by feeling like they’re not good enough. And we don’t want kids getting left behind in school while their peers move forward into the next grade.

I get it. For the most part.

Parenting Tool ELEVEN-

I remember the time I asked my 13 year old what a suitable consequence would be after he had abused his computer privileges.

“Take it away for two weeks?”

I just about laughed. “Really, you think that would be fair?”

“No, I just thought that that’s what you’d probably say, or worse!”

He really thinks I’m a mean Mom.