There is a myth that anger is something we inherit. Anger is not inherited. We know that the length of our fuse is not predetermined at birth. The way we express anger is not determined by our genes.
How we process anger and respond to the fiery emotion is something that we learn when are children. So we CAN blame our parents, but we can’t blame our genes. It’s not something we inherit, it’s something we learn.
You don’t have to look too far before you find an expert on parenting. Books are written by parents and doctors alike and you can see these so-called Parenting Experts all over the internet. There are websites you can read, podcasts to listen to, YouTube videos to watch and of course, TV talk shows with their hidden cameras confirming that we are not alone in our parenting struggles.
One of the TV shows that I used to watch is Dr. Phil. I liked Dr. Phil’s common sense approach even though he could be a little brutal with his honesty. I can’t imagine having the courage to go on his show and be subjected to his masked insults, but it’s definitely interesting to watch parents volunteer to expose their toddler tantrums and teenage fiasco’s for the world’s entertainment.
Do you enjoy feeling when someone is trying to change you? What if your spouse asked you to change something and you didn’t see the point? You think, “What’s wrong with me now? Am I not good enough for you?”
But here we are, as parents, constantly trying to change our children. Make them better, kinder, more responsible, etc. etc. etc. Do we stop and consider what it must feel like to never be meeting the standards set for us by someone else?